To the A-holes that Ruin my Commute

Dear Loathsome Subway Rider,

The weather we have been having lately is bad enough. I’m not going to complain about it. We’re adults. We don’t get snow days anymore. Mother Nature does what she feels like. It sucks. We can all agree on that. Let’s stop ranting about it, and making it our facebook status.

What I would like complain about it the jerks who have to make it worse by being obnoxious on the subway. It is a slap in the face to trudge through snow and ice, to successfully make it to your subway destination only to be confronted with hordes of wet people waiting for the trains that, due to an earlier service disruption are all effed up.

However, it is completely unacceptable to yell out and direct your fellow New Yorkers (who happen to be equally as annoyed and late because of this crap) to move in farther into the train, make more room, and just announce that you are coming on, even if there isn’t space. It’s OK if the subway conductor asks you to make more room. That’s his job. It’s OK if you would like to ask me nicely if I could move. I will tell you if I can or not. Blindly bossing me around just pisses me off.

I am not going to lie and say I’ve never slipped onto an overcrowded train. I have. However, I can say with honesty that I have never forced myself on when there was absolutely no space for another body and pushed to do so. There is a line between really crowded and extremely uncomfortable and these terrible people just keep crossing it.

Today a man was yelling, “This is New York! Coming On!” in response to my death glares at him shoving me into the train and twisting my arm in the process. No, sir, this is not how New York behaves. New York is a city full of people who walk around looking mean so that weirdos and crazies like yourself don’t fuck with them. We may appear unapproachable, and that’s just because we don’t want the Green Peace peddlers on the sidewalk to feel like they can stop us, or the homeless man to hit us up for money.

However, when you actually talk to New Yorkers, and ask them questions nicely, most tend to be very friendly and helpful individuals. Are you lost? We’ll give you directions and maybe a hand drawn map. If there was actually any room on the train, we would want to move in so that more people can get to work on time. We would have already moved in because we’re just that efficient, and because everyone knows the spots near the doors suck.

It’s obviously amateur hour when people just don’t get that. So, keep your mouth shut, and wait for the next train if there’s not room.

Thankyouverymuch.