Where have all the Princes gone?

As Valentine's Day approaches thousands of single women around the country are attacked with doubt, questioning their self worth for not having found the one just yet. They've been searching high and low for Prince Charming, but somehow, he's gone missing. Here's an interesting fact for all you ladies.

At Disney World, the home of fantasy creatures great and small, you can find and meet any princess you desire. Was Belle your role model when you were small? Great gold ball gowns, and men with beards? Or were you more of an Ariel lover, only wanting to emerge from Under the Sea to realize your dreams? Was the exotic jasmine leaving you searching for that perfect pair of harem pants? These ladies have only ever been a trip to Florida away for you to meet, pose for photos with, and idolize right there in the flesh. Every little girl's dream personified.

Now let's say a little boy has the same dream. He wants to meet the Prince Charming he admired in all the Disney flicks he watched with his sisters or cousins, or play group friends. And yet, when you go to Disney World, there is not a prince to be found. Michelle Williams revealed this interesting little piece of information to the world in her interview with Marie Claire magazine for the February issue. Her daughter, Matilda, met the princesses on a recent trip, and ready to complete the fantasy, asked an employee to direct her to where the princes were hiding out. His surprised reply? "Nobody has ever asked me that before. There aren't any princes here, honey."

They simply do not exist in "real life." And can you even remember any of there names? Just a little food for thought.

Motherhood gets Trendy

I was reading an article  in the September issue of Marie Claire magazine yesterday about one woman’s quest to remain childless, and the current glorification of mothers (especially of the single variety) in America. This particular woman is childless by choice. She just doesn’t want to have kids, and would rather live a life focused on her career and her husband. In the 21^st century, this should be a totally acceptable choice for a woman. Yet, she continuously encounters people who think she has “Peter Pan” syndrome, or will suddenly want children once her biological clock kicks in, or will regret it if she doesn’t have children once she is too old. The author, Polly Vernon attributes this partially to deeply ingrained gender norms, and partially to the ultimate mother figure that has become so idolized in pop culture. She raises some good points, and I have to say, that I completely agree with her stance in the article.

I mean really, pick up Star magazine, or US weekly, even People, and I guarantee you will see at least one celebrity placed on “bump watch” for the possibility of being pregnant. Then once the lady in question has actually confirmed she is indeed with child, the stages of her maternity wear, and weight loss after baby are meticulously tracked. Watching celebrities become pregnant, be pregnant, and then become fabulous again after babies has become something of a national pastime. And then there are the extreme examples like the Octomom, and Kate Plus 8, that reveal a strange fascination with normal women who are only known to the public because of their multitude of children. We must not forget the celebs like Madonna, and Angelina Jolie who make adopting, having a couple babes of your own, and still exuding sexy femininity the ultimate ideal of motherhood. All of this is well and fine. There’s something that makes you a little warm and fuzzy inside at witnessing a loving, doting mother with her children.

However, there are a few things that are left out of these fairy tale pictures. Namely that these women have the resources to hire help with their many children, support the huge amounts of food and clothing they go through, and the power to create freedom of schedule so that they can work enough to give all of their children a good life, while still spending time with them. Those resources are something that most women simply don’t have access to, and especially single mothers.

In addition to promoting this ideal of motherhood, there has been a trend towards turning unexpected pregnancy into comedy (we've all seen Juno and Knocked up), and even encouraging women to take their reproduction into their own hands, and have babies without having husbands (or wives) first. Movies such as The Back-up Plan and the most recently The Switch with Jennifer Aniston create perfect endings for women who decided to become mothers without a steady beau in their lives. Even without seeing the movies, I would predict that by the end of it each leading lady has locked down her man, and made her household whole with a wonderful twist of fate. Reality just isn’t like that. If you are knocked up with another man’s child, I’m sure there are not a ton of men out there who are dying to jump on board and be a father to that child (especially if you just met).

The truth of it is that single motherhood is hard work. Even in situations where a father was present, and the parents split up, it is difficult for the parents and difficult for the child to negotiate having different family roles and for the parents to find the time for work, family bonding, and come up with the resources to fit both in. Raising children as one solitary person is extremely difficult, and I think it is time that Hollywood stops promoting it as easy, even trendy.

I am all for reproductive freedom in women. I think if a lady wants a baby, then by all means she should have it, if she has the resources to create a good life for that child. I think that it is fantastic that women can have children without being married without being publicly scorned, and that the ideal of the traditional family has expanded to include more roles (see this article, also from Marie Claire—how cute!!). And I believe the single mothers are some of the best mothers out there because they work twice as hard and love their children twice as much.

But really people, should it be glorified as the best thing to do? The women in Hollywood make it work, because they have a huge monetary and social network to rely on. Single mothers who become single after becoming pregnant make it work because they have to, and because they love their children. The thing that bothers me is that Hollywood goes around making it look easy, even ideal to have a baby without a family first. And that, my friends, is just about as realistic as all those romantic comedies out there where just by being in the right place at the right time the heroine gets her guy, gets her dream job, and becomes famous and wealthy right before your eyes.

China invents a Constructive Way to take out Anger

Today I was getting out of the subway on my way home from two treacherous days of dodging being selected for a NYC jury. I was a little grumpy, which can happen from being cooped up in a windowless room for two days straight and forced to listen to judges ramblings/tolerate all the weirdos that were called for jury duty too. I'm innocently climbing the stairs at my stop, perhaps with a slightly pissed off look on my face, and this little punk decides to block my way up the stairs and give me a hard time because I'm scowling and he is taking it personally.

Naturally, I told him he had better get out of my face immediately if he knew what was good for him (I've lived in some not-so-nice neighborhoods, sometimes you are not in the mood to be harassed).  And after a short yelling match/lecture on how to treat women he backed off. I went on my merry way. I don't think he realized what he was getting himself into. I was definitely not going to be sassed by a little boy thinking he's a thug who is half my age. People need to learn to respect each other. But really NYC, how many times has a random stranger yelled at you or someone else for no apparent reason?  I've seen it quite a number of times, though I must say this is the first time I have been targeted with the yelling.

People need an appropriate way to take out their anger. I get it, we all get mad, living in a big city can be very frustrating at times, especially during a recession when many people are out of work and things may not be performing at their best level due to budget cuts. The subway is always late and crowded; people are in the way; you missed the bus AGAIN. However, there is a right way to deal with it (e.g., kick boxing class, a glass of vino, chatting with friends), and there is a totally inappropriate way to handle it. That way would include yelling at strangers, or attacking MTA officials like this guy did. I know that our mothers raised us to be more polite and respectful than this.

In China, they have come up with a solution. There are "frustration-venting" stores installed into shopping plazas, and anyone who purchases something in the mall can utilize its services for free. I came across this little blurb in the August issue of Marie Claire magazine, and I was more than amused. After my little experience today, I can totally understand why it is popular, and even necessary.

The services the frustration venting shop offers are basically this, an opportunity to smash things to smithereens for 60 seconds. Rooms are set up with common household appliances, such as TVs, lamps, beds.  There are various stations that are designed to resemble a home environment, and you can choose if you want to trash the living room, bedroom, or kitchen, though I'm sure if you are this pissed off it won't really matter what you're hitting. They give you a bat, set the timer, and off you go. Wreak as much havoc as you please, no consequences. I would like to see some stations like that here. I bet they would be quite popular. Let's just hope they don't push the rates of domestic violence up with people taking a liking to hitting things in their home with a bat as a form of stress relief. That speculation aside. Way to go China. I wonder if you have people verbally attacking others in your public transit?

Too much information: There's an App for that!

I was perusing my August issue of Marie Claire while riding the stationary bike at the gym when I came across a little blurb called "Got PMS? There's an app for that." Um, really?

It outlines several iPhone applications designed to help men track a woman's menstrual cycle, and to give special alerts as to what phase she is in with labels ranging from "horny" to "smooth sailing," and the warning of "PMS" accompanied by a picture of a lady with lucifer's horns sprouting out of her head. This particular app is called Code Red. Another app, PMSBuddy with the tagline "Saving relationships one month at a time" allows the male possessor to track several women's cycles so they can keep both wife and mistress happy and stocked with tampons when that special time comes along.

I am a fan of the iPhone's convenience. It is a magnificent contraption. But really, have we reached the stage of TMI yet?

The latest twist on a French Manicure

I was flipping through the June issue of Marie Claire, and I noticed a fantastic new nail trend in several of their photos. It's a twist/toughening up of the traditional white tipped nude nail combo that makes up the classic French manicure.

Marie Claire used dark shades for the tips, think hunter green and navy, and extended the curve of color down the side of the nail making a half moon on the end of square nails. I LOVE it.

Though I think it looks more fall-like than the full neon nails that I plan to rick all summer long. As soon as autumn rolls around though, I'll be running to my favorite salon with this picture in hand.