To the A-holes that Ruin my Commute

Dear Loathsome Subway Rider,

The weather we have been having lately is bad enough. I’m not going to complain about it. We’re adults. We don’t get snow days anymore. Mother Nature does what she feels like. It sucks. We can all agree on that. Let’s stop ranting about it, and making it our facebook status.

What I would like complain about it the jerks who have to make it worse by being obnoxious on the subway. It is a slap in the face to trudge through snow and ice, to successfully make it to your subway destination only to be confronted with hordes of wet people waiting for the trains that, due to an earlier service disruption are all effed up.

However, it is completely unacceptable to yell out and direct your fellow New Yorkers (who happen to be equally as annoyed and late because of this crap) to move in farther into the train, make more room, and just announce that you are coming on, even if there isn’t space. It’s OK if the subway conductor asks you to make more room. That’s his job. It’s OK if you would like to ask me nicely if I could move. I will tell you if I can or not. Blindly bossing me around just pisses me off.

I am not going to lie and say I’ve never slipped onto an overcrowded train. I have. However, I can say with honesty that I have never forced myself on when there was absolutely no space for another body and pushed to do so. There is a line between really crowded and extremely uncomfortable and these terrible people just keep crossing it.

Today a man was yelling, “This is New York! Coming On!” in response to my death glares at him shoving me into the train and twisting my arm in the process. No, sir, this is not how New York behaves. New York is a city full of people who walk around looking mean so that weirdos and crazies like yourself don’t fuck with them. We may appear unapproachable, and that’s just because we don’t want the Green Peace peddlers on the sidewalk to feel like they can stop us, or the homeless man to hit us up for money.

However, when you actually talk to New Yorkers, and ask them questions nicely, most tend to be very friendly and helpful individuals. Are you lost? We’ll give you directions and maybe a hand drawn map. If there was actually any room on the train, we would want to move in so that more people can get to work on time. We would have already moved in because we’re just that efficient, and because everyone knows the spots near the doors suck.

It’s obviously amateur hour when people just don’t get that. So, keep your mouth shut, and wait for the next train if there’s not room.

Thankyouverymuch.

Rush Hour in the Subway

What is it about rush hour in the NYC subways that makes your average Joe morph into an obnoxious human being? Everyone has to do it, most people twice a day. The trains are crowded. These are the facts of life, but if people just treated each other with a little consideration instead of totally freaking out, things would go much more smoothly.

You've got your average suspects:

-The Unpredictable: This is the person who gets all deer in the headlights when going through the turnstiles or making any move. They will pause, look around fearfully, then dart out in front of you suddenly at the moment you least expect it, totally cutting you off and blocking your path. This often occurs just before you get on the train, making you miss your chance at being to work on time.

-The "Good Samaritan": This guy is the one who is pushing everyone and trying to cram himself onto an already full train, and yells, in a nice tone, could you all just move in please? He acts like he's doing everyone on the platform a big favor by speaking up and asking for more room. Well, sir. I'm pretty sure if we could move in, we would to avoid being sandwiched in like sardines. You're the problem. Step out and wait for the next train please.

-The Stinker: This person will not be afraid to reach for the overhead bars and expose their smelly smelly armpits. Often they will be unshaven, or excessively hairy. They make you wonder just how someone can sweat so much so early in the morning.

-The Door blockers: These characters just don't seem to understand that if you turn sideways people still cannot get by you to enter and leave the subway. Yes, you may be taking up less space than when you stand facing out, but you are still in the way. The whole notion of moving to the center of the train to make more space for people entering and exiting is completely over their head. Instead they would rather just clog up the path for those of us who grasp how to use space efficiently.

During this special time of day, people seem to forget people are people, and instead anyone just becomes an object standing in the way of them getting home. Why, you might wonder, as I have many times before. Well, I have an answer for you. I studied Sociology, and as such I tend to observe groups of people and wonder why they act the way they do. Here are my thoughts on the subject. The rush hour phenomenon, it all comes down to collective behavior, more commonly referred to as pack mentality. Can't you just see it now? A senior thesis entitled Pack Mentality and Rush Hour in NYC's subways?

The earliest theory of crowd behavior is associated with G. Le Bon, who said that in periods of social decline and disintegration, society becomes ruled by the law of the crowd--think looting during blackouts, and how rapes and murders tend to increase in frequency in the lawless periods following natural disasters. People follow the behaviors of other to establish who is in power, and who is the subordinate.

 In the case of the subway, when groups of people are all engaging in the same action, the individual consciousness becomes subordinate to the collective mentality which radically transforms individual behavior. In other words, when a couple people start to rush the train to squeeze in, people lose their typical conscientiousness for the comfort of others and become obsessed with their need to be on the train too. Everything else falls to the wayside except the crowd's behavior. You can witness this same phenomenon crossing the street. A couple people jaywalk because there's no traffic coming. Then suddenly there's a crowd in the crosswalk despite the fact that the signal says don't walk, and there's oncoming traffic. Like a herd of cattle, everyone is just going with the pack. Next time you're on the subway, try standing alone, being courteous, waiting for the next subway. It would be interesting to see what happens if the pack mentality becomes one of friendliness and concern for others.

China invents a Constructive Way to take out Anger

Today I was getting out of the subway on my way home from two treacherous days of dodging being selected for a NYC jury. I was a little grumpy, which can happen from being cooped up in a windowless room for two days straight and forced to listen to judges ramblings/tolerate all the weirdos that were called for jury duty too. I'm innocently climbing the stairs at my stop, perhaps with a slightly pissed off look on my face, and this little punk decides to block my way up the stairs and give me a hard time because I'm scowling and he is taking it personally.

Naturally, I told him he had better get out of my face immediately if he knew what was good for him (I've lived in some not-so-nice neighborhoods, sometimes you are not in the mood to be harassed).  And after a short yelling match/lecture on how to treat women he backed off. I went on my merry way. I don't think he realized what he was getting himself into. I was definitely not going to be sassed by a little boy thinking he's a thug who is half my age. People need to learn to respect each other. But really NYC, how many times has a random stranger yelled at you or someone else for no apparent reason?  I've seen it quite a number of times, though I must say this is the first time I have been targeted with the yelling.

People need an appropriate way to take out their anger. I get it, we all get mad, living in a big city can be very frustrating at times, especially during a recession when many people are out of work and things may not be performing at their best level due to budget cuts. The subway is always late and crowded; people are in the way; you missed the bus AGAIN. However, there is a right way to deal with it (e.g., kick boxing class, a glass of vino, chatting with friends), and there is a totally inappropriate way to handle it. That way would include yelling at strangers, or attacking MTA officials like this guy did. I know that our mothers raised us to be more polite and respectful than this.

In China, they have come up with a solution. There are "frustration-venting" stores installed into shopping plazas, and anyone who purchases something in the mall can utilize its services for free. I came across this little blurb in the August issue of Marie Claire magazine, and I was more than amused. After my little experience today, I can totally understand why it is popular, and even necessary.

The services the frustration venting shop offers are basically this, an opportunity to smash things to smithereens for 60 seconds. Rooms are set up with common household appliances, such as TVs, lamps, beds.  There are various stations that are designed to resemble a home environment, and you can choose if you want to trash the living room, bedroom, or kitchen, though I'm sure if you are this pissed off it won't really matter what you're hitting. They give you a bat, set the timer, and off you go. Wreak as much havoc as you please, no consequences. I would like to see some stations like that here. I bet they would be quite popular. Let's just hope they don't push the rates of domestic violence up with people taking a liking to hitting things in their home with a bat as a form of stress relief. That speculation aside. Way to go China. I wonder if you have people verbally attacking others in your public transit?