This=That

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I was reading Vogue the other day, and I read the funniest metaphor I've heard in a long time. The article was about teeth, and how chemical whitening treatments may be damaging how we are able to detect oncoming health problems. Apparently the mouth is the window to a lot of other problems. It can signal heart disease and other more serious things. People's obsession with simply whitening teeth, and not caring for overall dental health can make them more at risk for mouth diseases that impact other body systems.

The whitening treatments can mask bigger issues that yellowing teeth might otherwise indicate. I had no idea that the health of your mouth and teeth were such an indicator of your body's overall functioning. Or, as Vogue put it, your gums are like a turtleneck that keep your teeth warm and safe from outside invaders, but when we let our mouth health slide they become like a loose cowl neck that is susceptible to letting germs and other nasties sneak into our bloodstream, body, and bone structure.

Talk about putting things into terms a fashionista can understand. It really gets the message across though. Even though cowl necks are super stylish right now, I wouldn't want them in charge of protecting my body from the cold or any other threat. So needless to say, I will be brushing and flossing a little more carefully this year. And I am even more thrilled with my new year's resolution to floss everyday!

I want one

Today I saw the second girl who looked to be about 15 wearing one of these dazzlers. I'm not gonna lie, I was appalled. I was thinking about buying myself one of these gems as a little reward to myself for getting a new job. I love the one in the middle, gold with tiny little diamonds and the clover patter that I must say screams Van Cleef and Arpels slightly more that Tiffany.

So I checked them out online, thinking I could spend some cash, how expensive can Tiffany really be? Well, that special little key will run you a grand, and that doesn't even include the chain. Who would buy that for a teenage child?

Chanel is bringing Lipstick back

Women's Wear Daily and it's sister publication, W magazine report that Chanel is out to snatch up a whole generation of women raised on lipgloss and convert them to the faithful lipstick wearers of the past. And their timing couldn't be better. It is said that during tough economic times, women tend to splurge more on makeup, especially lipstick as an inexpensive way to snazz up their look.

Rouge Coco, as the new hydrating lip color will be called, is named after the brand's founder herself, and her nickname as a youth. It is supposed to go on smooth with only one swipe needed to coat a lady's lips with one of Chanel's 30 shades based on Madame Coco's life stages. The magazine reports that represent each shade mirrors a phase that coco went through. Mademoiselle is a soft pink, Camelia a deep rose, and Paris a bright red.

It's a time of throwbacks for Chanel. When times are tough, stick with what works. No one ever got fired for sticking with an old standby. This season Chanel took a decidedly retro turn, bringing back their quilted purse, with a few trendy tweaks. Now they are turning to revive possibly one of makeup's oldest friends. At $30 a pop, it is a decidedly affordable taste of Chanel. Now ladies, it's only up to you to pick the right shade.

Writing a fight letter?

I was at the gym this morning, and I had the opportunity to overhear some very interesting locker room chatter. Three European women were talking about how to deal with their most likely European husbands. They discussed how the real way to get in touch with their men on uncomfortable subjects is to write him a letter, old school renaissance style. Their logic was that when their husbands hear a difficult topic coming up, they clam up and check out of the conversation. They opt not to listen, in laymen’s terms. The women all seemed to agree that men responded better to a letter because instead of having the option to tune out, they actually would read the whole thing. Interesting concept. I had to get in on this conversation.

I had so many questions. I needed answers. I happened to be conveniently eavesdropping in their line of vision, so when one made eye contact with me, I had my in. I mean, why would their husband read the letter and not just toss it if he is avoiding the topic in open conversation? The women seemed to think that men sensed the importance suggested by the effort put into writing a letter. They also agreed that men respond better to the non-confrontational setting of a letter that they can read in private, to themselves.

They raised a few interesting ideas about the male psyche. Do they really respond better to the written word? Is that why everything was so wildly romantic when couples had to write love letters to each other and whisper sweet nothings rather than talking out their problems in the public air? It still seemed like kind of a cop out to me.

I personally am a fan of just saying it how it is and letting that be that. The older generation (to which these ladies belonged) is always giving us youngsters a hard time about our new fangled ways of communicating. I have read countless articles on how people are losing their face to face social skills with all the instant messaging, texting, and internet life we have access to. Yet women of this very generation were sitting here telling me that I should write a letter if I really want to get my man’s attention, recommending the very same impersonal approach they sanction us for. I mean what is really different from a letter or an email except the speed at which it arrives, allowing us to resolve our problems or communicate our emotions even more quickly.

I think that texting and emailing let’s people get to know each other better like any phone call would. And why does email get such a bad name of being impersonal? It’s the same thing as a letter, minus having to decipher the messy boy handwriting that could simply lead to more confusion. If men respond better to the written word, and women love love letters, email and texting are simply the newest and fastest frontier in dating history. OR these women are wrong, and the real old fashioned way is to log the face time that let’s you get all the smooches you deserve.

What do they put in the nail polish?

Last night I had the most wonderful mani-pedi experience. First of all, it was cheap. It was clean and fast, and the sweet lady who did my nails was fantastic. She even plastic wrapped my toes and zipped my coat for me when I left so my boots didn't mess up my toes and I didn't mess up my nails. I'm totally using that trick when I paint my toes before bed.

As a bonus, she gave me a little calendar planner complete with maps in the back (which I really need since I am completely geography challenged), full of coupons for more cheap beauty treatments.

The salon was stocked with Essie nail polish. I went for Bahama Mama. Yet, I am beginning to lose faith in the brand I used to love so much. Even with a manicurist's skilled hands, little bubbles appear after a second coat, making my nail polish look carbonated. Though their range of shades and cute little names is totally unparalleled, OPI is just better. It goes on smoother, looks shinier, and doesn't chip off as easily. But no matter what brand I use, I can never quite get the same results as when I get my nails done. They are just not as shiny. What do they put in their nail polish?

They're the Mutants, not us.

Ever beat yourself up for not being able to drag yourself out of bed to make that 6:30 am spinning class before work? Well now there is scientific evidence that you should stop the self abuse and hit that snooze alarm. I, for one, have many times entertained the grand idea that I would find a way to fit in happy hour AND a work out AND 8 hours of work, all in one glorious day. The president does it, why can't I?

I have tried many a time, setting my alarm for 6 am. Laying out my running shoes the night before. Yet every time the horrible beep sounds just once, the only thing I accomplish is setting my clock back another hour and a half and rolling over.

And it turns out this was the right decision (for me). According to a recent article in Science magazine (and a little excerpt in January's Marie Claire), all of those people who are recharged and rearing to start their days at 6am are actually harboring a mutant gene that makes them so chipper so early. I've known I wasn't a morning person for a while, but now at least I feel justified in my crankiness and extreme sluggishness in the early morning hours, for those of us without this gene require more sleep to get by.

A variation of the DEC2 gene (the insomnia gene) lets some people feel awake and refreshed after a mere six hours of sleep. Mice with this gene like to spend extra time on the running wheel each day. Humans with this gene like to make the rest of us feel bad by working out early in the morning.

Isn't it ironic that the insomnia gene can make some people energized while actual insomnia in the average sucks the energy right out of you. Don't cha think?

6 Train madness

Anyone who has commuted in the morning rush on the green line knows it is not a pretty sight, especially at about 8:40 on the dot when most people are squeezing in at the last possible moment/train before they absolutely will be late to work. It is not a pretty sight. Men lost sight of all chivalry. Grown adults elbow, push, and squabble. I, for one, tend to be unstressed once I actually get to the subway platform. I have endured the 10 minute race-walk from my apartment to the subway to make up for the extra 15 minutes I spent picking out my outfit and hitting snooze, and now all I have to do is ride to the office. I have actually figured out that if I leave 5 minutes earlier I can catch a train that usually isn't so packed, but I am seldom able to do that.

You walk into the subway, planning for the worst, but sometimes if you time it just right you walk right on to an emptier train and can snag a seat right from your stop. My pet peeve? Not the pushers or the fighters--they are just amusing--but the people who are totally fast asleep in their seats when I get stuck standing in front of them. This just means that they aren't planning to get off anytime soon, and today will not be a day when I get to enjoy my coffee seated while reading my magazine on the train. Instead I will be looking at your peacefully slumbering face, all the while being jostled around and considering kicking you in the shins just so you can experience the ride with the rest of the car. Wake up people. You're just pissing everyone else off.

A sign of good Creeding

Creed is coming to America. W Magazine leaked that this fragrance of royalty will be opening a flagship store on 67th and Madison. Notorious for designing fragrances for kings, princes, Creed has come across the pond in a big way.

Michelle Obama wears Love in White. It is rumored that Laura Bush wore the same one. Maybe she left a bottle lying around the white house? This fragrance is equated with class and good breeding. And now you can wear it too, minus the international shipping costs. At $230 for 2.5 oz, why not pick up a few bottles?

If I were this, I'd be that.

I've been a sucker for things like these ever since chain email surveys when I was a teenager. And yes, I did make a facebook 25 things. I can't help myself. Don't judge me too much for posting this here, I couldn't resist. You know you want to do it too.

If I were a month, I’d be April.
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Sunday.
If I were a time of day, I’d be sunset.
If I were a planet, I’d be Earth.
If I were a sea animal, I’d be an otter.
If I were a direction, I’d be east.
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a big comfy chair.
If I were a liquid, I’d be punch.
If I were a gemstone, I’d be a diamond.
If I were a tree, I’d be a magnolia.
If I were a tool, I’d be a staple gun.
If I were a flower, I’d be a snap dragon.
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be a sunny summer afternoon.
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a bongo drum.
If I were a color, I’d be pink.
If I were an emotion, I’d be happy.
If I were a fruit, I’d be a pomegranate.
If I were a sound, I’d be a burbling brook.
If I were an element, I’d be neon.

If I were a car, I’d be a ferrari.
If I were a food, I’d be cheese.
If I were a place, I’d be the beach.
If I were a material, I’d be silk.
If I were a taste, I’d be delicious.
If I were a scent, I’d be gardenia.
If I were an object, I’d be a beautiful piece of jewelry.
If I were a body part, I’d be an eye.
If I were a facial expression, I’d be a smile.
If I were a song, I’d be soulful.
If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be clogs.