Thursday, April 30, 2009

Hilary Duff will now be walking the AIDs walk

Today I received a "personal" email from Hilary Duff, and by personal I mean a mass email sent out to everyone walking the AIDs walk, but still written to sound like the little pop princess is talking directly to me.  It turns out that she was "moved" to participate in the AIDs walk because although she has played many "meaningful" roles on tv (that's debatable), the AIDs walk is more meaningful than any of these!  No kidding.  So, she's decided to join me, "center stage" to fight AIDs at the walk.  Woo Hilary.  Good for you, you've decided to take a break from getting veneers and losing weight to do something worthwhile-yay!

All mocking aside, I think it's nice that she wants to get involved and draw publicity to the AIDs walk.  Now, being the competitive AIDs walker that I am, I think my team (Broads for a Cause--DONATE!!) is the best AIDs walk team out there, despite the fact that next to my ambitious team members, I tend to look like a fundraising slacker.  Soo, two questions immediately jumped to my mind.  How big is the Duff Master's entourage going to be, and how much did she fundraise, being the celebrity she is, with access to unlimited wealthy contacts, personal funds and media outlets.  I figured that hands down she would had my team beat and crush my dreams that my team members would exceed anyone else's personal donation levels. So I took a quick gander at her AIDs walk team fundraising page:

Turns out I was wrong.  Hilary Duff will be walking with a team of 56 strong.  And yet, with this massive team turnout, they have raised only $760, TOTAL! 

Eat this Hilary Duff.

My team of only 4 ladies has you beat with $1005 raised, and we just got a new team member, so watch out cause we're raising even more!  Donate at:

Monday, April 27, 2009

I love NYC in the spring time

So, maybe it feels more like summer out because of the suddenly 90 degree temps we've been enjoying, but I cannot say enough how much I love springtime in NYC.  Every year, I fall for it over again.  There is outdoor seating, frozen drinks that melt away so deliciously and refreshingly.  There are the parks that are suddenly so full of people enjoying life, and the beaches only a borough away.  There are the flowering trees and the beautifully colorful planters everywhere.  

Everyone with a cute dog is out and walking it.  The breeze is warm.  We can finally show off our toes and wear those pretty flowing dresses that have been stashed in the back of the closet all winter.  We don't have to wear coats anymore, only light cardigans.  Bright colors are necessary.  Sunshine is plentiful, and we deserve it after surviving yet another brutal winter of slogging through ice and snow just to get to the subway, nearly dry off, get out and get cold and wet again.  My skin is soft, tan, and freckled.  I feel a little blonder.  The smell of spring is in the air from slightly muddy grass to blooming hyacinths, to that sweet fresh scent that carries on the breeze to keep the hot garbage stench of the coming summer from lingering.

I cannot help but be in a wonderful mood.  It's infectious.  Everyone feels like they are suddenly on vacation, even though we're working hard to get by, free time feels longer and all the more precious.  There is a sense that things cannot get any better than they are right now.  Love is in the air.  Recession smession.  We won't let it keep us down.  NYC will not let it stop us from enjoying the most lovely season of all with a passion.

Gym Class Exclusion

For the most part, people in classes at gyms are extremely unfriendly.  I don't really understand this phenomenon.  It is like there is a small clique of people who incessantly go to one class, be it spinning or ab sculpting or boot camp, and they get a feeling of possessiveness to what they consider their gym territory.  Then they are extremely rude and unhelpful to any new comers who might happen to want to mix up their gym routine and try something new.  They try to make you feel uncomfortable and do not welcome you to the group.  I don't get it.  I mean, I don't go to the gym to make friends.  I have a lot of friends in the city, I go to keep my abs in ok condition and to work off the large quantities of cheese that I like to eat, but I don't understand why we can't be cordial and even friendly to each other.  I mean, there are the few gems who are nice and delightful to be around, assisting you with your equipment and offering helpful hints for how to survive the class, but these are few and far between.  I have a few things to say to those of you who make up the other, much more common group of gym class excluders.

First of all, you are not friends with the instructor.  He is nice to you because it is his job to do so, and he doesn't get paid if no one shows up to his class.  He is just trying to get through the day and sucker you into buying personal training sessions from him on the side.  When you come up to him after class and talk about how this particular class wasn't as rigorous as others he has put on, he probably just wants to punch you in the face and say, Fuck off. 
Second, you are not an expert on the equipment.  I don't know if you noticed, but your form is off, and your bike adjusted improperly compared to everyone else's.  And maybe you should think about mixing up your fitness routine with some new activities rather than doing the same exercise over and over.  It feels like its getting easier because your body is used to it and not challenged anymore.  Time to change it up.

Third, you're probably a douche bag if you feel like you need to be rude to people in the gym setting for not being as good at something as you.  And finally, what is with the jewelry and make up in the gym class?  This isn't a fashion competition, and if you aren't sweat soaked by the end, I'm pretty sure you aren't working hard enough.  If you are going to be so mean, who are you really trying to impress when you are clearly so much better than everyone there.  No one wants to see you boobs jiggling around in that too tight tank top, so put that stuff away.

Thanks, and see u next week, if the sign up sheet isn't too full.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Hefty this

As I was cleaning up my apartment this Tuesday morning after a weekend of letting things get rather messy, I also decided to reorganize all of the cupboards and cabinets in my apartment.  What can I say, once the cleaning frenzy takes hold, you might as well just go with it.  This involved stuffing the millions of plastic grocery bags that I have accumulated over the past few months into the bag holder on the cabinet door rather than just flying loose under the sink.  

Then I got to thinking about how many ducks could choke to death from eating the plastic that I have under my sink should I unleash it on a landfill, and how wasteful it is to have so many of these bags when I have so many perfectly good canvas bags I could grocery shop.  Then I thought how annoyed I get when cashiers try to give me a huge bag to go with tiny purchases like mascara or a new pen.   I don't know why with all the green initiatives out there it hasn't been mandated to restrict on plastic bag usage, or bag usage at all, or to implement more environmentally friendly bags.

I know that there is a debate about whether paper bags or plastic bags are more detrimental to the environment since paper bags mean tree destruction, but plastic bags don't biodegrade.  However, I don't understand why there has been no progress in creating a trash bag that won't languish in a trash dump for all of eternity.  I mean we can make these cool new biodegradable pots for gardening to replace the old plastic standard that simply decompose into the earth once planted, and they appear pretty sturdy.  Why hasn't anyone tried to make a garbage bag that won't leak out all the goopy gunk, but will gradually decompose with the trash inside after a few years?  A development like this could make a great difference in the way our landfills function.  I think Hefty should stop bragging about their virtually indestructible bags that can stretch, contain an elephant, and survive the most raunchy trash and get on it.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

It you have only 99 minutes to spare

Watch 'The Wackness' on On Demand.  It'll take you on a trip back to when hip hop music was amazing, drug dealing was just a way to get by, and adults could get away with being ridiculously irresponsible.  One of the Olsen twins makes an entertaining cameo as a drugged out teen (real acting stretch there!).  Its a journey of summer love and heartbreak that will make you miss your high school days, yet appreciate your semi-normal life.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Manscaping: The Male Stylist Experience

The are a large number of Eastern European male hair stylists in NYC.  I don't know if anyone else has noticed this trend.  You can recognize them by their tight pants, buzz cut, and mysterious accent.  Oh, and also by their overly sexualized demeanor that manages to fit hooking up or the possibility of it into every nuance of every phrase.  

With the Eastern European male stylist, your relationship status somehow makes its way into your initial consultation to the tune of, "Are you married?  Have boyfriend?  Why not?  Such a pretty woman!"  They make comments like "Why so relaxed?  It must be my hands, they work magic on your head."  They are extremely touchy, caressing your cheek while painting a foil, and straddling your legs to get the perfect front blow out.  Then will proclaim that they are married, and thus are not available, as if you are the one making all these advances.  Although I am not totally convinced that this isn't just a farce to make you feel a little less sexually harassed.  

I have always been a little skeptical of the male stylist.  Call me sexist all you want, but I just haven't trusted my hair in their hands unless they have long flowing Fabio style locks that assure me they know how to manage something more complex than a bowl cut.  

Recently, however, I have found myself being styled by three different men--all of European descent.  What can I say?  I'm a desperate girl since my longtime colorist abandoned me and feeling a little spurned since all she wanted to do is to have another baby---at least I can count on these men not to do that!  I haven't bridged the hair cut gap yet, but I've relaxed enough to let them try out their skills on my highlights.  I mean it would be pretty tough to mess up blond hair color anyways, why not take a gamble. 

And in the end, the risk was worthwhile!  All innuendo aside, my most recent salon visit was a very successful, if sensual experience.  I liked my stylist's attitude from the start when he told me how he understands how all blonds just want to be blonder.  Then I received the tiniest most perfect highlights combined with a peppermint shampoo treatment that left my scalp refreshed and tingly along with a fifteen minute head and neck massage.  Then the blow out was top notch.  I walked out of the salon with my fine hair moussed into the bombshell waves that every girl craves.  

So, maybe all the excessive touching and inappropriate comments were worthwhile.  Or maybe I just notice all the touching more since it is a man rather than a woman wielding the combs.  I wonder if this is how men feel every time they go to the salon, a little violated, but happy with the end result?  My stylist's name was Picasso, and he treated my hair like a work of art, and I would most definitely recommend him to a friend.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Lash Extension: The 3 Competitors

So, there have been a lot of recent mascaras claiming to make your eyelashes thicker and longer.  I have sampled three of the main competitors in the race and I will tell you the best in the bunch.

There is Shu Uemura Fiber Extension.  As far as I can tell, this one is the pioneer of mascara that claims to extend your lashes with little pieces of fibers that cling to the lash like individual false lashes, extending them past their typical length.  It is good stuff, but has a little bit of a greasy feel that leaves your lashes, although longer, a little limp and unable to hold a curl.

Then there is Fiberwig mascara, the knock off, which clamps on a little extra lash in much the same manner with one application.    This is by far the best lengthening and thickening mascara.  It is like falsies without the tedious application process.

Then there is the latest: L'Oreal Beauty Tubes, which is supposed to surround your eyelash with a thick tube of faux lash, making your normal fringe more lush and strong.  It's good in theory, but tends to clump and leave extreme gunky residue in the sink.  L'Oreal says that no eye makeup remover is necessary, but it will leave large black chunks in your sink with much scrubbing and not simply warm water removal. 

Shu Uemura comes off easy, but doesn't give results.  Fiberwig comes off easy and has much the same effect as the beauty tubes, making it the winner of this three way test.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

The Fast and The Furious Returns

I, for one, could not be any more pumped about the new Fast and the Furious movie.  I actually might go see it tomorrow, the day it comes out.  The first one was awesome.  The second ok, the third pushing it, but cool just because of the drifting.  And yes, I have seen all three.  I'm a fan.

But let's be serious here, I'm not going for the fantastic acting skills.  I'm going for the man candy that is Vin Diesel and Paul Walker, and the fast cars, obvi.  There are a few moments from the first one that really stick with you.  Those scenes that everyone loves and remembers to this day.

The scene with Vin and Michelle Rodriguez, some shirts come off, there are leather pants, it's just perfect.  There's the moment when Paul Walker rescues Vin Diesel off the street, starting off their beautiful bromance, and the final scenes with Vin when Paul let's him go.  Should be interesting to see how they deal with his fugitive status in the new movie, and how the two reconcile after discovering that Paul Walker is indeed a cop.

I did just watch the original on TNT though, so it is quite fresh in my mind.  I can't wait, cannot wait to see it.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

This is the sweetest love song I have heard in a while: Jill Scott and Mos Def

"Love rain down on me,on me, down on me [4x]

Met him on a thursday,sunny afternoon
Cumulus clouds, 84 degrees
He was brown,deep
Said he wanted to talk about my mission
Listen to my past lives (Word?)
Took me on long walks to places where butterflies rest easy
Talked about Moses and Mumia
Reparations,blue colors,memories of shell topped adidas
He was fresh,like summer peaches
Sweet on my mind like block parties and penny candy
Us was nice and warm,no jacket,no umbrella,just warm
At night we would watch the stars
And he would physically give me each and every one
I felt like cayenne pepper, red, hot, spicy
I felt Dizzy, and Sonya, heaven, and Miles between my thighs
Better than love,we made delicious
He me had,had me he
He made me tongue tied
I could hear his rhythm in my thoughts
I was his sharp, his horn section
His boom and his bip
And he was my love

Love rain down on me,on me,down on me

The rain was fallin and,and slowly and sweetly and stinging my eyes
And I could not see that he became my voodoo priest
And I was his faithful concubine
Wide open, wide, loose like bowels after collard greens
The mistake was made
Love slipped from my lips
Dripped down my chin and landed in his lap
And us became new
Now me non-clairvoyant and in love
Made the coochie easy and the obvious invisible
The rain was falling
And I couldn't see the season changing
And the vibe slipping off it's axis
Our beautiful melody became wildly staccato
The rain was falling and I could not see
That I was to be plowed and sowed and fertilized
And left to drown in his sunny afternoon
Cumulus clouds,84 degrees,melody

Love rain down on me,on me,down on me [2x]

[Mos Def]
In stretched my arms towards the sky like blades of tall grass
The sun beat in between my shoulders like carnival drums
I sat still in hopes that it would help my wings grow
So then I could really be fly
And then she arrived
Like day break inside a railway tunnel
Like the new moon,like a diamond in the mines
Like high noon to a drunkard,sudden
She made my heart beat in a now-now time signature
Her skinny canvas for ultraviolet brushstrokes
She was the sun's painting
She was a deep cognac color
Her eyes sparkled like lights along the new city
She lips pursed as if her breath was too sweet
And full for her mouth to hold
I said,"You are beautiful,distress of mathematics."
I said,"For you, I would peel open the clouds like new fruit."
And give you lightning and thunder as dowry
I would make the sky shed all of its stars like rain
I would clasp the constellations around your waist
And I would make the heavens your cape
And they would be pleased to cover you
They would be pleased to cover you
May I please, cover you, please.


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