Monday, February 23, 2009

Freshman Frank

There are those people out there, who really crack me up, whose personality completely changes when they get that first drink. They go from the tall, meek boy sitting in the corner graciously declining any shots while everyone else gets tanked, into the drinking machine self-named ‘Freshman Frank,’ once you pressure them into that first gin and tonic complete with yelling, dancing around, and demanding more rounds of tequila shots.

Granted, we all loosen up a little bit once we’ve imbibed a certain number of adult beverages, but this special breed manages to totally transform at the first drop of alcohol. They are almost like the incredible hulk, growing into a huge tornado of ridiculous behavior. The gentle giant, who normally defuses fights goes all nutso and starts ripping off his shirt and punching his fists through plate glass windows

Then there are the others who take a turn for the worst after the first few sips. They turn from the happy-go-lucky jokester type to the sobbing, depressed friend who looks mildly suicidal and stares at every passer-by with a streaked mascara, caked eyeliner teary eyed glance.

Everyone has their tell; be it drunk, crazy eyes, a switch to whispered only conversations, sudden super-human strength, or a tendency to re-tell the same story over and over and over again.

They add a little element of extra entertainment to the average night out. They’re like a bad stereotype that pops out every time they dip into the sauce. But then they give you a good chuckle and stare at you with those drunk, endearing, half-closed eyes, and you remember why it's all worthwhile.

So tonight, say cheers and buy a round for your Freshman Frank!

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