Dress Pants=Button Crazy

I would like to know why every single pair of dress pants that I own has so many buttons. I mean, the button fly went out of fashion for a reason, right? People got sick of having to undo and then redo four to five buttons when they could just slide a zipper down, and button up one button at the top for extra security. My jeans seem to manage to stay on my body with only one button at the top of the zipper.

And yet, my black pants have two buttons, vertically stacked off to the left side of the zipper. These are the "show" buttons that you see if you happen to be wearing a cropped top or tucking in that button down at work (neither of which I typically do). Then there's the hidden invisible button on the inside of the waist band a little to the right of the zipper. It's purpose, I simply can't imagine, except a little more annoyance when taking them on and off. My wool pants from Banana Republic are the same deal, a hidden inside button, with 2 little prongs that keep the outer flap tucked over the zipper. Ditto for my khakis, tweeds, and tan skinny dress pants. I'm a lady of  convenience. I put my sneakers on and off without untying the laces. I already have to do my hair, pick out matching jewelry, paint my nails, and pick out which heels match best. I prefer to be able to put my clothes on with minimal finangling. These little inside buttons are constantly getting on my nerves. My dresses and skirts seem to do just fine with a zip and a little hook and eye at the top.

I did a little googling, naturally, to see if anyone else had the same question, or could answer my conundrum. Here are the most creative responses I found:

• The inside button is to hang your extra Bentley key on, in case you're mugged
• The outside hook is to signal that you are single looking to mingle
• They're there to make sure you don't drink too much at after work happy hour
• A zip is a nasty thing, redolent of cheap suitcases and brightly coloured tents. A bespoke suit should have a button fly.

My best guess is that the extra button is there for the "hang" of the garment. It keeps the pants in proper alignment so they fall nicely, where jeans don't need the extra accouterments to look fab. What's your best guess/most creative idea?